We have a shocking announcement for all Menno News subscribers. A short time ago, a website was discovered that regular readers would find oddly familiar. It has come to our attention that another Mennonite-themed web page has been stealing property from the Menno News and calling it their own!

Following an anonymous lead (actually, Aunt Linda told us) the Menno News Executive immediately sprung into action. They activated the Tactical Web Surveillance Squad (TWSS), a little-known division of the Menno News Tactical Team. The TWSS employs its own squad of computer hackers who secretly searched the suspect’s web files. What they found was both frightening and scandalous.

Speech-pattern recognition experts were brought in to study the articles on the renegade website. They found at least seven counts of direct plagiarism and another four counts of what they called “Idea-Theft”. One of the experts explains, “Idea theft is not phrase-by-phrase copying, but is the blatant misuse of someone else’s material by slyly rewording it to make it appear original.”

The TWSS then looked deeper into the site’s HTML code for other signs of foul play. To their alarm, our hackers discovered secret messages and image files embedded in the innocent-looking Mennonite material. They also uncovered special words within the text that when clicked on, led to sites for organ trafficking and other pages described as “thoroughly inappropriate for the Mennonite viewer”.

The origin of the website was traced to the little known region of Konduz in Northeastern Afghanistan. The TWSS analyzed the signal in detail and established that it is coming from a powerful underground antenna, likely inside a cave or military foxhole. This would explain the rather drab colours of the rebel page. At present, the Menno News Tactical Team has been sent to Konduz to intercept the signal.

The Menno News has issued a formal statement:

“These developments serve to warn us to beware of imitators. Just because something says its Menno, doesn’t mean that it is Menno. We hope that this crisis can be resolved quickly and peacefully. The ball is in their court now.”

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